Trump's Military Peasants Go Marching One by One

Hoorah! Hoorah!

Donald Trump finally revealed how he plans to Make America Great Again. He is going to have the military march in parades to show off their size and strength!

That was easy! Why didn’t any other president think of doing it?

“Being a great president has to do with a lot of things, but one of them is being a great cheerleader for the country,” Trump told the Washington Post in an interview published Wednesday morning. “And we’re going to show the people as we build up our military, we’re going to display our military. That military may come marching down Pennsylvania Avenue. That military may be flying over New York City and Washington, D.C., for parades. I mean, we’re going to be showing our military,” he continued.” (TPM)

First of all, why are we building up our military? Is it too small? Are we not spending enough money on it? Does this have something to do with those super secret plans to destroy ISIS that only Trump knows? He’s smarter than the generals. But if we need more military, why would we waste their time marching in parades? Or is that another part of the plan to win? Kill the enemy with Rose Bowls?

Also, why is Trump going to be a cheerleader? The mental picture of that just made me not want lunch. This patriotism thing is getting out of hand. Are we truly going to RAH RAH all the friggin’ time? Am I gonna need pompoms? I’m terrible at cheering; I was a band nerd, proudly.



And display? Was that really the best choice of words? Trump’s planning to display our military? What is this? The Military USA Pageant? Oh my lord no they didn’t tell him it wasn’t! He thinks it IS a pageant! The marching must be the talent portion.  Well, marching while flying over New York City would be gifted.

Again, does this man actually have the slightest clue what his job and the military’s entail? If he wants to get freaky with the flag, I suggest he curl up with it at night and snuggle until his heart’s content, but please don’t pee on it. I don’t think Melania will mind.

All joking aside, though, this is some scary rhetoric. Military marches for no reason and excessive patriotism are top of the authoritarian to do list. If I were to become president, I might be more concerned with deployed troops and homeless veterans, perhaps hiring someone who can pronounce their job title and recite a few of the requirements of it. But I’m not Trump.

This nightmare is really beginning to sink in. Friday it will be…gulp…President Trump*. I’ve never been so uncomfortable at the thought of anyone taking office as I am with this man. However, it’s not only his authoritarianism; it’s also his incompetent staff, his inability to speak without needing ten people to clarify his statement for a week, his narcissistic personality, his itchy Twitter fingers, his affinity for nuclear weapons, his ignorance and unwillingness to learn, his disdain for the media, and most of all…the fear that nobody who counts will stand up to him when it’s truly necessary.

Instead, the Republicans and leadership will follow him like lemmings, marching one by one, straight off the side of the cliff, and take the country with them.

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